Who am I?

‘Nationality is one thing, roots are another. As far as I am concerned my ancestors are from Jamaica/Africa although I don’t even know my family in Jamaica … you can’t help your roots but you can choose your nationality. Faced with a tick box, I would tick a variety: sometimes Black UK, Black other, Caribbean – because it depends on how I feel at that time and what it’s for. If it’s for a job I would tick Black UK, to say I’m a UK citizen – otherwise it might be more difficult to get through certain doors.’

‘On an equal opps box I’d tick ‘mixed parentage’ but I don’t see the point. Even when I’m talking to my friends, I don’t know what term use to know – sometimes mixed race, mixed parentage, dual heritage. I’m more influenced by the Black side of family as closer to that side, although I’m fully aware of my white family and have got benefits from both sides – I’m quite lucky actually. But if the world was split in two, with black people one side and white the other, I’d go on the black side. Because I am of colour, I will be seen as black.’

‘I’d rather not tick ‘em – I don’t think my ethnicity is anything to do with anything. If I ring NHS and they ask about my children’s ethnicity, why? Is it going to make a difference to how they’ll be treated? And yet we have to ask young people to ‘tick the box’ for us – for funding purposes, to show who we’re reaching …’

‘I call myself a Black man. Faced with a tick box, I would tick ‘other’ because I don’t feel I come under those labels they put there – they don’t really identify who I am. So under ‘other’ I put ‘Black man’ - not ‘Black British’ because I don’t feel ‘British’. I am left with a feeling of ‘Where am I in society? Where’s my real home?’. Britain’s not my home, although I was born here. But I wouldn’t feel at home in Jamaica or Africa either as people there tell me I’m English. I think of myself as dual heritage – my parents from Jamaica, my granddad half Indian, plus English culture to deal with – although I know that’s not what people mean by the term.’

‘I am white British, born in London but would never define myself as English – don’t like the track record of plenty of accomplishments at the expense of other people. I have no problem with tick boxes because I know I am from the mainstream, always up there at the top, the first box to tick. But I don’t feel very rooted, out of step with my family’s values, not proud of colonial ancestors, not impressed with current UK overseas policy and its knock-on effects in mixed communities such as ours. I feel most at home in a mixed environment such as the one we work in.’

‘Depending on my mood, and what it’s for, I will often put ‘Black British’ or if not that option, ‘other’ – African Caribbean UK. I change it every time – no category has ever explained how I feel about my identity or how I would describe it. My parents are totally convinced by their definition of themselves as West Indian. I always thought what my parents called ‘home’ was my home too – but it can only be my home up to a point. I’d always identified myself as being part Trinidadian and part Grenadian but people there would call me English. Growing up here I would/could never describe myself as English but at a stretch I would say British cos that’s what’s on my passport. I’m not English because even though my external experiences of going to school, watching TV, clothes I wear is considered to be English, when I go home to my parents, that home influence was stronger, more ingrained – language we speak, food we eat, way we interact with one another, parent/child relationship, and basic values – what your parents tell you about how you must conduct yourself in the world, behave in relation to other people, do in different circumstances. Some of this you decide as an adult is not part of your identity anymore, but small parts remain. It is about being accepted and feeling like I don’t belong to anywhere in particular.

‘People automatically get the impression I’m mixed race because of my skin colour but both my parents are actually same colour – my mum’s Black and my dad light skin Jamaican. If you really look at it my roots are from Africa, but I look at it as if I have to tick a box it’ll be Black British or Caribbean – either one to get it out of the way. All my cousins were born in England but my mum and aunties came over from Jamaica. I would say I was English but they’ve labelled English a certain thing – football hooligans, the pint, the Queen. That’s disturbing for me because I don’t live that life. If I have to say anything I’d say I’m a young Black British male.’